kids animal backpacks for school image
rwl12345
The funniest one I've heard is:
How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen?
2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 6 million in the ash tray.
Answer
Btw thats not funny, thats not even in the same galaxy as funny... I m not jew but seriously that isnt funny....anyways
ive got a few like :
>
Husband always insisted on making love in the dark.
After 20 years wife turns on the light, finds him holding a vibrator.
She goes balistic, "You impotent bas*ard! How could you lie to me all these years?"
Husband looks her straight in the eyes & calmly says, "I'll explain the toy, you explain the kids....."
>
A boy watches his mum and dad having s*x he ask, "What are you doing ?"
His dad replies, "Making you a brother or sister!"
Boy say, "Do her doggy style I want a puppy." (ewwww lol)
>
Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them. The bear sees the campers and begins to head toward them.
The first guy drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on.
The second guy says, "What are you doing? Sneakers won't help you outrun that bear."
"I don't need to outrun the bear," the first guy says, "I just need to outrun you."
>
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
>
A little boy wakes up 3 nights in a row when he hears a thumping sound coming from his parents room.
Finally one morning he goes to his mom and says, "Mommy, every night I hear you and daddy making noises and when I look in your bedroom you're bouncing up and down on him."
His mom is taken by surprise and says, "Oh.. well.. ah.. well, I'm bouncing on his stomach because he's fat and that makes him thin again."
And the boy says, "Well, that won't work!"
His mom says, "Why?"
And the boy replies, "Because the lady next door comes by after you leave each day and blows him back up."
>
I used to play tennis, baseball, basketball and chess, but I stopped after my son broke my playstation.
>
There was a guy in a bar one night that got drunk, I mean really, really, really drunk. When the bar closed, he got up to go home.
As he stumbled out the door, he saw a nun walking on the sidewalk.
So he stumbled over to the nun and punched her in the face. Well, the nun was totally surprised, but before she could do or say anything, he punched her again. This time she fell down and he stumbled over to her and kicked her in the butt. Then he picked her up and threw her into a wall.
By this time the nun was pretty weak and couldn't move very much. So then he leaned over her, put his face right next to hers and said;
"Not very f..kin' strong tonight, are you Batman?"
>
A Man is at the airport.
- Name?
- Abdul al-Rhazib.
- S*x?
- Three to five times a week.
- No, no... I mean, male or female?
- Male, female, sometimes camel.
- Holy cow!
- Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general.
- But isn ´ t that hostile?
- Horse style, doggy style, any style!
- Oh dear!
- No, no! Deer run too fast! :-))
>
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.
When asked to define "Great" he said,
"I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"
He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
they arent quite exactly funny or mine... they are from chuck billy
contact him > yahoo@chuckbilly.com
Btw thats not funny, thats not even in the same galaxy as funny... I m not jew but seriously that isnt funny....anyways
ive got a few like :
>
Husband always insisted on making love in the dark.
After 20 years wife turns on the light, finds him holding a vibrator.
She goes balistic, "You impotent bas*ard! How could you lie to me all these years?"
Husband looks her straight in the eyes & calmly says, "I'll explain the toy, you explain the kids....."
>
A boy watches his mum and dad having s*x he ask, "What are you doing ?"
His dad replies, "Making you a brother or sister!"
Boy say, "Do her doggy style I want a puppy." (ewwww lol)
>
Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them. The bear sees the campers and begins to head toward them.
The first guy drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on.
The second guy says, "What are you doing? Sneakers won't help you outrun that bear."
"I don't need to outrun the bear," the first guy says, "I just need to outrun you."
>
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
>
A little boy wakes up 3 nights in a row when he hears a thumping sound coming from his parents room.
Finally one morning he goes to his mom and says, "Mommy, every night I hear you and daddy making noises and when I look in your bedroom you're bouncing up and down on him."
His mom is taken by surprise and says, "Oh.. well.. ah.. well, I'm bouncing on his stomach because he's fat and that makes him thin again."
And the boy says, "Well, that won't work!"
His mom says, "Why?"
And the boy replies, "Because the lady next door comes by after you leave each day and blows him back up."
>
I used to play tennis, baseball, basketball and chess, but I stopped after my son broke my playstation.
>
There was a guy in a bar one night that got drunk, I mean really, really, really drunk. When the bar closed, he got up to go home.
As he stumbled out the door, he saw a nun walking on the sidewalk.
So he stumbled over to the nun and punched her in the face. Well, the nun was totally surprised, but before she could do or say anything, he punched her again. This time she fell down and he stumbled over to her and kicked her in the butt. Then he picked her up and threw her into a wall.
By this time the nun was pretty weak and couldn't move very much. So then he leaned over her, put his face right next to hers and said;
"Not very f..kin' strong tonight, are you Batman?"
>
A Man is at the airport.
- Name?
- Abdul al-Rhazib.
- S*x?
- Three to five times a week.
- No, no... I mean, male or female?
- Male, female, sometimes camel.
- Holy cow!
- Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general.
- But isn ´ t that hostile?
- Horse style, doggy style, any style!
- Oh dear!
- No, no! Deer run too fast! :-))
>
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.
When asked to define "Great" he said,
"I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"
He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
they arent quite exactly funny or mine... they are from chuck billy
contact him > yahoo@chuckbilly.com
ideas on how to make a sewing class FUN?
T
Ideas on how to make a sewing class FUN?
I teach students 3rd through 5th grade how to sew and I want to make our hour in class fun for them while they learn. Any ideas?
Answer
Keep the projects quick and easy and colourful. Kids that age like things they can use and don't have patience for projects that take too many sessions to complete. Doing smaller items that are finished quickly builds confidence and it's easy to build up on successes with slightly more complex projects. A little drawstring bag made of quilting cotton for shoes or gym clothes is always a favourite when I teach little kids. I always allow the kids some freedom in picking the colour of fabric, as long a it's quilting cotton. Quilting cotton is easy to cut and sew and an excellent choice for kids because of the endless variety of colours and prints. A simple pencil bag is also a favourite. Simple pillows are also good. For the older kids a pair of pyjama bottoms from cotton flannelette can be a final project worth trying. For the younger ones a backpack or school bag works well. Don't fall for the allure of furry stuffed animals, the fur is difficult to sew for beginners and it can be be more frustrating than fun. Another project to avoid is an an old fashioned apron. Little boys will be lost because they don't relate to the item, and some little girls will rebel against such an old fashioned and slightly sexist project. (Trust me, I've been teaching kids for a while.) It may be traditional, but it's not the best idea. If you can convince the kids that they can make useful and good looking things themselves, they should become interested on their own. Kids love to be able to express themselves and show off what they have made, and sewing allows plenty of room for both.
I teach through a fabric store and part of the deal is that the kids buy patterns from the store. I recommend the Kwik Sew Learn to sew line. The first projects are quite simple, they even have a couple no-sew projects to teach basic cutting and laying out. Here's the page with all the beginner projects You can get a couple ideas of what type of things beginners can make: http://www.kwiksew.com/Catalog/cat_thumbs.cfm?Cat=Learn_to_Sew&Level=KWIK_Start&QL=KwikStart I start the kids with number 3525. The pattern 3595 is the pyjama pattern I use. If you do a search through about.com's sewing site there are a few similar free patterns you can use: http://sewing.about.com/
In conclusion, keep it simple, keep it colourful, and allow some creative freedom.
Keep the projects quick and easy and colourful. Kids that age like things they can use and don't have patience for projects that take too many sessions to complete. Doing smaller items that are finished quickly builds confidence and it's easy to build up on successes with slightly more complex projects. A little drawstring bag made of quilting cotton for shoes or gym clothes is always a favourite when I teach little kids. I always allow the kids some freedom in picking the colour of fabric, as long a it's quilting cotton. Quilting cotton is easy to cut and sew and an excellent choice for kids because of the endless variety of colours and prints. A simple pencil bag is also a favourite. Simple pillows are also good. For the older kids a pair of pyjama bottoms from cotton flannelette can be a final project worth trying. For the younger ones a backpack or school bag works well. Don't fall for the allure of furry stuffed animals, the fur is difficult to sew for beginners and it can be be more frustrating than fun. Another project to avoid is an an old fashioned apron. Little boys will be lost because they don't relate to the item, and some little girls will rebel against such an old fashioned and slightly sexist project. (Trust me, I've been teaching kids for a while.) It may be traditional, but it's not the best idea. If you can convince the kids that they can make useful and good looking things themselves, they should become interested on their own. Kids love to be able to express themselves and show off what they have made, and sewing allows plenty of room for both.
I teach through a fabric store and part of the deal is that the kids buy patterns from the store. I recommend the Kwik Sew Learn to sew line. The first projects are quite simple, they even have a couple no-sew projects to teach basic cutting and laying out. Here's the page with all the beginner projects You can get a couple ideas of what type of things beginners can make: http://www.kwiksew.com/Catalog/cat_thumbs.cfm?Cat=Learn_to_Sew&Level=KWIK_Start&QL=KwikStart I start the kids with number 3525. The pattern 3595 is the pyjama pattern I use. If you do a search through about.com's sewing site there are a few similar free patterns you can use: http://sewing.about.com/
In conclusion, keep it simple, keep it colourful, and allow some creative freedom.
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Title Post: What is the funniest off-color joke you've heard?
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Author: Yukie
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Rating: 95% based on 9768 ratings. 4,5 user reviews.
Author: Yukie
Thanks For Coming To My Blog
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