Monday, November 11, 2013

What can I do to stop myself from being so angry?

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brie


I get mad over the SMALLEST things but I cant help it. It just happens. Somtimes i start shaking. Its bad. I wish i could just not get mad about anything. But it cant be like that.. So Im asking u guys =]]
Does anybody know any tricks that can help me from getting mad so easily?



Answer
A selection of treatments follow: If you can't deal with it by using one of the techniques, such as counting backwards from 20, to 1, (and prevent yourself from making yourself angry, in the first place) is important to express that anger appropriately, at the time, and to the person who caused it, if possible, or immediately afterwards. If not, maybe by walking away later, and bellowing your rage and/or frustration. In some situations, such as work, or school, it might be better to cover your mouth with a cupped hand, bandanna/handkerchief, or use the crook of your elbow, to muffle the sound. Some people find that it helps to journal those thoughts, and emotions soon afterwards.

Anger, which is repressed, rather than healthily expressed, tends to fester, and later may cause explosive fits of rage, or depression. Let yourself feel the burning energy of that anger, and visualise it, as vividly as possible, as a hot flame cleansing you. It can help to have someone you can talk to. For more physically inclined people, a punching bag, or hitting your pillow, can be an effective release mechanism: visualise, as vividly as you can, that you are striking back at the cause of that anger. "But next time, when you get mad, just remember this quote: 'Those who anger you, conquer you.' It's basically saying that when you give someone the power to make you mad, or let it get to you, it's like they're controlling you.

When I realized that, it made me mad, so I try to control my anger and not let people see it. You can still control your anger without being walked all over. You just have to draw a line." Try saying to yourself, in your mind: "I am fire! I am ice!". Repeat for as long as it takes for you to calm down sufficiently. Anger management is addressed in much more detail than can be included here, in section 4, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris and practice daily, one of the relaxation methods in section 2, 2.c, 11, or 2.i Most people find the progressive muscular relaxation simple, and it can be done in several minutes. Others prefer to repeat a word, like "easy" in their minds, or a short phrase, and focusing your attention on your breath is another technique. You will know from the ease of use, and effect, which suits you best.

A variant of Eye Movement Desensitisation & Reprocessing therapy, which has been used successfully for those people suffering from anxiety: it is easily learned, quick to use, yet can be very effective, is on page N, of section 6, and I use it before the relaxation techniques, because I have found that it makes them quicker to employ, and more effective. These will enable you to emotionally centre yourself, when practiced regularly. Yoga, and/or T'ai Chi may also help you become a calmer, more self controlled person, who is less influenced by the behaviour of others. Books: The Anger Workbook - a 13 step plan to help you. - Les Carter & Frank Minirth. - Minirth Meier Clinic Series. and Anger Management For Dummies. - W. Doyle. PhD. - Gentry. Try your library, local bookstore, or http://www.amazon.com/ for these.

Imagine, as vividly as you possibly can, that your anger, fears, your self-recriminations, all the agonizing "I'm-so-Stupids," and "I'm-too-fats"; every painful "I-can't-I-have-it" or "I-can't-do-it"are huge raging, hurtful bulls snorting and charging at you. You see them coming at you and you hold out your red matador's cape at arms length and simply let them charge right by. Every time they come at you, hold out your arm with the red cape and let them rage and snort and go right on by you.

If you are one of the 40% of people who are fairly suggestible, you may wish to consider professional hypnotherapy, or http://www.asktheinternettherapist.com/h... - Ending Anger
CD - MP3
or: Control Your Anger -
Anger Management Hypnosis Download
http://www.hypnosisdownloads.com/

How do you cope with someone's constant irrational anger?




Annie


My sister constantly is angry about everything that comes along. I can not have a normal conversation anymore. It's like she looks every day for something to be mad about - and I mean every day! I'm suspecting she is bi-polar. How do I cope with her constant anger? I try not to respond but then she's mad that I don't. I go ahead and take whatever blame there is but she just moves on to other topics to be mad about. She criticizes the air I breathe! Help!


Answer
A previous answer follows: If you can't deal with it by using one of the techniques, such as counting backwards from 20, to 1, (and prevent you from allowing yourself to become angry, in the first place) is important to express that anger appropriately, at the time, and to the person who caused it, if possible, or immediately afterwards. If not, maybe by walking away later, and bellowing your rage and/or frustration. In some situations, such as work, or school, it might be better to cover your mouth with a cupped hand, bandanna/handkerchief, or use the crook of your elbow, to muffle the sound. Some people find that it helps to journal those thoughts, and emotions soon afterwards.

Anger, which is repressed, rather than healthily expressed, tends to fester, and later may cause explosive fits of rage, or depression. Let yourself feel the burning energy of that anger, and visualise it, as vividly as possible, as a hot flame cleansing you. It can help to have someone you can talk to. For more physically inclined people, a punching bag, or hitting your pillow, can be an effective release mechanism: visualise, as vividly as you can, that you are striking back at the cause of that anger. "But next time, when you get mad, just remember this quote: 'Those who anger you, conquer you.' It's basically saying that when you give someone the power to make you mad, or let it get to you, it's like they're controlling you.

When I realized that, it made me mad, so I try to control my anger and not let people see it. You can still control your anger without being walked all over. You just have to draw a line." Try saying to yourself, in your mind: "I am fire! I am ice!". Repeat for as long as it takes for you to calm down sufficiently. Anger management is addressed in much more detail than can be included here, in section 4, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris and practice daily, one of the relaxation methods in sections 11, 2, 2.c, or 2.i Most people find the progressive muscular relaxation simple, and it can be done in several minutes. Others prefer to repeat a word, like "easy" in their minds, or a short phrase, and focusing your attention on your breath is another technique. You will know from the ease of use, and effect, which suits you best. The EFT, in section 53, is worth trying, too.

A variant of Eye Movement Desensitisation & Reprocessing therapy, which has been used successfully for those people suffering from anxiety: it is easily learned, quick to use, yet can be very effective, is on page N, of section 6, and I use it before the relaxation techniques, because I have found that it makes them quicker to employ, and more effective. These will enable you to emotionally centre yourself, when practiced regularly. Yoga, and/or T'ai Chi can also help you become a calmer, more self controlled person, who is less influenced by the behaviour of others. Books: The Anger Workbook - a 13 step plan to help you. - Les Carter & Frank Minirth. - Minirth Meier Clinic Series, & Anger Management For Dummies. - W. Doyle. PhD. - Gentry, & Angry All The Time: An Emergency Guide to Anger Control by Ron Potter-Efron. Try your library, local bookstore, or http://www.amazon.com/ for these.




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