Sunday, June 1, 2014

Teenage depression? Please help..?




SP123


Hello,I am a sixteen year old Syrian teenager. Before I go into the "what's wrong with me/help me part of this,I'd like to give you a little backstory of my life.

I was born in Syria to a Syrian Mother and Iraqi Father. When I was three years old,I moved to Dubai. After living there for over a year,my father decided to take us to California. We ended up staying there for seven years,and,once I turned 10 we moved back to Syria to be closer to family. Syria was great,Damascus was great. Around March 2011 the civil war brok out,however my family had decided to stay in the country regardless for the problems weren't as bad in the capital. We carried on living there for over a year and a half into the civil war. My father began fearing the safety of his family,so,like any sane parent would do,carried off and left to the States. But this time we went to Ohio instead.

Ohio was bland and we only stayed there for one year (last year) because my parents didn't enjoy it much,more notably my father fell into a major depression over what was going on in Syria as well as being so far away from home. Summer rolled along and we packed our bags.. Where too? Syria.

It was nice being able to see my family once again in Syria,but after three months one does get bored. Schools had begun in the U.S. and my father was once again lost on the infamous topic of where we were going to go next. So,my father landed on coming to Beirut,Lebanon to check out the situation for living as well as schools my siblings and I could be enrolled in.

I've been in Lebanon for a week now with my sister and father. My mother and younger sister are in Syria,should be coming soon though. And he still is confused as to where we are moving too. I personally really wanted to go back to California for my Education. I have stellar grades and determined to go to a prestigious higher learning institute. I myself have also fallen into a state of depression as to what my life has become of constantly moving and not knowing what's going to happen with my life. Are colleges going to look at me with disapproval when examining my rather bizarre lifestyle? I want to do what's best for my family and don't want them sacrificing their lives just for me. Schools have begun and I still don't know what's going to happen. Will my family move to Beirut? They are even in talks of just going back to Syria. My family really cares about me and tell me that they are sorry of the suffering but everyone suffers sometime in his life..
I am a U.S. citizen and an Iraqi citizen. Surprisingly,I do not have Syrian citizenship due to the fact that my father is not Syria,pretty odd,right?



Answer
You are something of a TCK - Third Culture Kid. Look them up, they have a FB page among other things. There are others out there lost in the world. It's OK, some of us build on what's been gained with unique experiences everywhere.

move to uae or not>>>?




prince


Basically ever since I came back from the Emirates (went all over Dubai, Abu Dhabi), I've felt sick, depressed, can't eat, can't do anything all I wana do is go live there.

I can't explain how it is but it really does open up your eyes to another world and Im sat here right now reading blog after blog of expat (british) amazing experiences there.

I miss it. to put it short.

You come back to UK, you dont see bugattis and modified X6s parked outside the mall anymore. You dont see pink hummers, and ferraris and lambos parked outside many homes

You cant beep the horn outside a shop and the indian come running outside to ask you what you need

Nobody opens closes car door behind you and takes your things inside-- you go food shopping and kill your fingers just to get it inside the house- Ive resorted to actually taking them granny bags wit me to Morissons.

You dont get special treatment- over there because I wear abaya they think Im emaraty (my Bf is local and in national dress too because imm from near this region in the gulf originally but just lived in uK for studies)

Nobody asks you how many items you have when you go into shop- you try them on and leave the scruffed pile for the filipino to clear up

the foood is 7 Star here absolutely amazing hygenic and fast

10 lane motorways

Being greeted with Maam and Sir wherever you go

Government give uae nationals a villa when they get married or money to build one- so no mortgage for life etc

Safeeeetly-- we left our car (porshe cayeene) running outside the hotel forget t on- hotel staff park it and give us key in morning

Its really easy to skive work- sick note, send ur indian to sign for you- but they changed that now and they have finger print ahahah o sign in and out as many people abused the system

All cars are white n tinted (my favourite) and all 4 x 4 --no smaller than 4.5 litre (cheap petrol) no expensive insurance , stupid rules about seatbelt etc basically a policeman stopped us...then checked documents...my bf hadnt done his insurance for 2 years.....and wasnt wearing seatbelt...he laughed with the policeman saying "aww dont fine me on both-!! " then the police man said "ok choose one insurance or seatbelt"- he chose insurance because even though its more expensive (100 pound fine) it doesnt hav points of licence like with seatbelt---compared to in Uk it would be other way--? what does this say about this place??

I dont blame the British expats for going there- this countrys expat population is now 75% + and local population so little

Should I just marry him after we finish studies and live with him
Hes a real man, He loves me, Pays for everything and never lets me spend a penny (part of the culture too as he says if offendshis manhood when I try to pay before you call me a gold digger!!!)

O an being a housewife just means havin a maid, cook and really good social life. (chaffeur too if you dont wana drive) so NO. Women there are NOT oppressed.

No tax- starting salary 10 K a month for british degree + villa + pool +car and first flight tickets home twice a year included--! and if you have kids the pay half their school fees

No tax on anything- In uk you cant escae Tax even when you're dead- inheritance tax.!! and the people work for the government to pay them wages not the other way-!!the government doesnt care about its people sadly

you need to share your thoughts coz im NOT dreaming. Ive seen this world.And it IS the reason every1 is obsessed with this country right now.

btw- ive been twice this year and 3 times last



Answer
Dear,

I don't blame you for being just 21 years old and dreaming about One Thousand and One Night. It's a big difference being on vacation or working and living in the UAE. But let me start at the beginning.

1) I don't know about Dubai, but I've neither seen any pink Hummers in Abu Dhabi. 3 Bugattis belong to a rent a car company and there are only a very few Masaratis and Lambos.

2) Staying inside the car, beeping the horn an wait for an Indian come running, works in small convinient stores only and is a sign of disrespect and lazyness.

3) When living here, nobody beside your maid or husband will open or close your house door.

4) agreed

5) This is the behavior of a spoild child and in Boutiques you are mostly allowed 4 pieces max.

6) depends on where you dine

7) not in Abu Dhabi

8) agreed and it's annoing after a while

9) keep on dreaming. Not such things like marriage funds anymore.
Getting a villa? Get your name on the list and wait until first Govt. employees got one, then families with children (the more the better).

10) agreed

11) where did you get that from?

12) not true. Not all cars are white SUV's. (our cars are black, grey and blue). Tinted windows are allowed up to a certain extend only unless a woman obtained extra permission. Unvalid registration, no insurance and no seat belt - what does this tell you about this place? It tells you that many Emiratis still have to learn a lot. That's it.

13) agreed

14) you Have to get married to live with him.

15) oh Girl. In case you are married to an Emirati, have a maid, cook and driver, you will be bored to death as long as you don't have any children. Please be aware that your social life will be "ladies only". Having a maid for cleaning and help cooking - fine. But what do you need a cook for? Driver? Can't you cook and drive? You are right we are not oppressed, we can drive.

16) you are dreaming again. GBP 10K (assume you are not speaking about AED:))? Only when a western degree and YEARS OF EXPERIENCE! For sure NOT for people who just finished their studies. Same for villa, etc. Tickets back home? Not for an Emirati. Your kids will be Emiratis and public schools are for free.

Please don't take my inputs as an offense, you asked for sharing thoughts.
Many foreign girl wake up when realising that their Arab husband isn't exactly the same anymore he used to be aboard. In case your future husband is from a conservative Abu Dhabi family - you better think twice about your great social life. This doesn't have to be a problem, but it can. What do you think how many divorced foreign women live in Abu Dhabi?

Anyway, I wish you all the best. Some of your dreams may become true, but that may take time, patience, hard work and a good working marriage. Take care.




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