Saturday, December 21, 2013

Any Random Thoughts ?

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Yeah, it sucks that I'm grounded. THREE WHOLE DAYS. I've literally been in sitting in dark cool basement, wearing a robe, with a tall rootbeer next to me searching the Web. I'm going insane, especially since my sister just went to the pool with all her friends. Who gets grounded for getting a D in math when they have the rest A's? I still got a 3.75! But I just have to make it through. At least I can get a head start on all my summer homework since theres nothing else to do.

I'm 15 and going into the eleventh grade. I cannot even believe that I'm going to be a junior already, it feels unreal. The funny thing is my mom still packs me a bag lunch everyday with a peanut butter sandwich, Coke, pretzel, and apples ever since first grade. I never ever get tired of it. Ever since school let out on June last week, I've basically lived at my best friend Emily's house. Literally I've slept over every night. Well, every night besides the day my report card got sent to my house lol.

I dont know what I'd do without Emily. I've known her since I was five and could basically write a book about her entire life, with quotes from her included haha. I was there at the middle school party when she got her first kiss, I got drunk for the first time at her house, I delivered the note in sixth grade to her first boyfriend that she wanted to break up. Its such a great feeling knowing you have a best friend set for your whole life, who will be there no matter what happens.

I wonder where I'll live when I'm older. I live in a small town on the East Coast, and no one really moves away. You live here for life. But my family isnt like that. We settled here in 1999 when I was five but before that my dads job in the military had us moving all over the country and even to Singapore. We moved in with my moms childhood best friend here, and then just never left. But unlike all my friends I want to get out of here. I love our town, but I know theres a lot more out there. I want to see every continent!

I guess I look like a typical 15 year old girl. I'm 5'4 and 102 pounds, with longish blonde-brown hair and blue eyes. The only remarkable thing about my appearance is my eyelashes, which are extremely long and thick. I've been hit on before, but I mostly think everyone thinks I'm more 'cute' or 'pretty' then 'hot' or 'sexy'. The only thing I've done is kiss a boy. Its not that I'm prude, but I dont like to rush into things. I dont trust boys easily. When I was little I was sexually abused, but I've never told a soul, not even Emily. Its extremely difficult to keep inside but I've done a great job of acting completely normal. While this person was hurting me, my parents were going through a divorce. They were constantly stressed and fighting and my dad had bad depression during that time. I didnt want to make everything worse. But seeing how much my parents trust the guy who did it makes me have very little faith in people. When I see him in church, praying and singing hymns with everyone else, my stomach tightens in a hard little knot. It doesnt seem fair.

Besides that I think I've had a great life. I'm kind of an eternal optimist. I cant stand to be sad and hate when people are always complaining. I've always been fairly well liked and popular. Its hard for me to be quiet. My dad once offered me $20 if I could be silent during the drive to Conneticuit but I burst like a balloon in five minutes. My mom calls it 'the gift of gab'. My dad calls it 'annoying'. He always teases me but I know he loves me more then anything. My sisters name is Sienna and she is 13. We look alike and are frequently mistaken as twins, but we act nothing alike. Our personalities are polar opposite. We bicker all the time, but there are some nice moments where we get along.

Okay I'm done...I think I'm going to emerge from the basement for a peanut butter sandwich!

Love Olivia




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