Sunday, February 23, 2014

persuasive essay help anyone?

Q. okay. so i did a persuasive essay of school. here is the first part of it..
but now i cant think of a good ending/conclusion paragraph can anyone help me out here


Why cannot students bring cell phones to school? This is a question a lot of students and parents ask themselves. Everyday, I see teachers and other staff in the school using cell phones. The teachers and principals say it distracts us students even if the phones are on vibrating. What schools do not know is that when they have their cell phone in there pocket and it starts ringing or vibrating, that distracts teachers from teaching and gets us students unfocused. Teachers get to use their phones in the building. Some teachers are respectful enough and turn off their phones while others leave their cell phones in a bag in a class room and it starts ringing extremely loud and gets the students in the class room distracted. To tell you the truth, I feel that is very wrong. A teacher is supposed to be a role model to the students.

Some of the reasons administration says we as students cant have them at school is because we use them for cheat methods. As a student i can see how they could come to that conclusion because with teenagers text messaging is very common.However, if a student wanted to cheat on an assignment they could just as easily ask some one else for the answer just as well as the could if they texted someone to get the answer. There are so many other ways to get answers then just texting.

Many people say they need their phone for emergencies, but the administration says if its an emergencie then they have a office phone. While this is very much true, its been known for parents to leave messages for their kids and the kids never recieve it. By no means am i saying people in the office dont do their job. They can get just as busy as anyone else and it just slip their mind. Some family emergencies may be private and cell phones for kids are a better source for parents to eaisly get ahold of their kids and a better way of communication all the way around.

The school Agenda states that if a student brings their phone to school it must stay in the off or silent position. While in class trying to do work, I can see how this can be helpful. Theres nothing more annoying then trying to do work while the person next to you is playing music or listening to their phone go off while your trying to concentrate. However, In my opinion i think it should be aloud for students to have their phones out during appropriate times. Such as before school starts, during lunch periods, or even during class change.


Answer
It should be why can't, not why cannot? I is always capitalized.

I would say that either everyone should be allowed to have a cell phone in school or no one. If teacher's are allowed to have cell phones then they should make sure that they aren't a distraction to anyone. May students shouldn't be allowed to have cell phones in class because they are distracting and can be used to cheat, but they should be allowed in school at appropriate times such as in between classes and during lunch period and as long as they aren't distracting to anyone. Teachers set a bad example when they do something that distracts their students. Either everyone should be allowed to use cell phones or no one should be allowed.

MY civil rights Brown Vs. Board essay?




cupcakecoo


Just wanted to know what you thought on it. btw I'm in 7th grade regular English, working with a partner who didn't do half their work. So just if you think I could add something plz tell thanks!!!

In the 1950âs, the general rule for schools was âseparate but equalâ. Across the south, most of the public schools didn't allow black students to attend their "white" schools. Many of the black students felt as if they were receiving an education that was inferior to that of the white students. This law was challenged by thirteen parents, who tried to enroll their children into white schools. Later, a lawsuit was filed against the board of education by the NAACP. This case became known as the Brown vs. Board of Education (Cozzens).
Before the Brown vs. Board came into view, there was the Plessy vs. Ferguson case. The verdict of this lawsuit was âseparate but equalâ. Despite the public view, this was anything but equal. An example was, if $150 was spent on white students, only â of that was spent on African American students. Most of their educational items, such as textbooks, were outdated, or hand-me-downs. For most black schools, there wasnât adequate funding and the classrooms were constantly overcrowded (Think quest, 2010).
With her school supplies in her book bag, Linda Brown had to walk a mile to her school every day. However, there was a white school only seven blocks away from her house. Since she was African American, the school did not accept Linda (Cozzens). Her father, Oliver Brown, asked the NAACP to help him file a lawsuit against the Board of Education; they agreed. Black parents from other states joined in on the case. Although Brown vs. Board of Education was five cases combined, it was named after Brown. The five cases were from Washington D.C, Delaware, South Carolina, Virginia, and Kansas (The University Of Illinois, 2008). The cases ranging from Delaware to Virginia all involved a group of African Americans who were refused admission to a predominantly white school, due to their skin color ("Combined brown cases,â).
This case was first viewed by the Supreme Court October 1, 1951. Segregating schools ment the African American students had gotten the short end of the stick. The NAACP did not argue that the facilities and funding were unfair, instead they stated it caused psychological damage. Black students felt inferior to white students and it was an obstruction to their learning. The Boards defense was the early segregation prepared them mentally for what they were to face in adulthood. They also argued that many great African Americans such as; Frederick Douglass, Booker T. Washington, and George Washington Carver overcame segregated schools. The Board thought that segregated schools was not an issue (Cozzens). On May 17, 1954, the court came to the decision stating, "We come then to the question presented: does segregation of children in public schools solely on the basis of race, even though the physical facilities and other "tangible" factors may be equal, deprive the children of the minority group of equal educational opportunities? We believe that it does...We conclude that in the field of public education the doctrine of 'separate but equal' has no place. Separate educational facilities are inherently unequal. Therefore, we hold that the plaintiffs and others similarly situated for whom the actions have been brought are, by reason of the segregation complained of, deprived of the equal protection of the laws guaranteed by the Fourteenth Amendment (Cozzens).â
This was a major breakthrough for the civil rights movement. Schools had officially become desegregated, but there is still a lot of work to be done. Today, the schools are in some way segregated. One way is due to the fact that parents who can afford to send their kids to a private school will. Those who canât, send their kids to public schools. One isnât âinferiorâ to the other, but this is an example of economic segregation. Another example is the schools in an area with a dominating race. These schools will tend to have more of one race than a balanced mix. In a perfect world there would be desegregated schools, at this point itâs mostly integrated. Everyone lives and realizes those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it. Segregation in any form, especially in schools, belittled African Americans. The Brown vs. Board was a milestone for the civil rights movement, this helped try to reverse any damage that was done. The public, overall, doesnât have the same perspective as they did fifty years ago. âSeparate but equalâ isnât a general rule anymore. A more modern saying would be âall for one, and one for allâ.



Answer
All in all it is very good {better than most high school essays on here - seriously}, but needs a few minor fixes. P for paragraph, L for line... (caps for my emphasis only). Okay if you cannot or chose not to make some of the changes

P1 L2 reads better if you say DID NOT
P2 "Before the Brown vs Board [ ADD IN "of Education" - no shortcuts ... except for lawyers who say v for versus. Saves them one whole letter - lol.]
Spell out ONE-THIRD

local spelling MEANT, Board's << notice apostrophe

change "An example was" to "FOR EXAMPLE,"

avoid common language: hand-me-downs ... short end of the stick ... "One way is due to the fact" ... "Everyone lives ... doomed to repeat it."<< OMIT! It is a cliche. ditto "all for one, and one for all." << so erase that whole sentence.

On May 17, 1954 the court came to THEIR decision....

... You can say >> "Segregation .... , especially in schools, belittled African American." but you cannot support that position. {Even if crafty lawyers made it work for them.}




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